Page 8 - Life Coaching Today January 2021
P. 8

What advice do you have for the young ladies (teens to young adult age) who are growing up in today's world with so much influence in music that is not always supportive of their best interest? What advice would you give to the young men?
I think the advice I would have for both, and I know it's not always easy when you're young. You're looking to try and figure out who you are. Unfortunately, a lot of times, we think we have to be what the media portrays as the image of
what's lovable, whether that supper thin, or cool, or having the right kind of hair or the right body type, or the right clothes, being on social media all the time.
We share tons of research on how damaging it is. I know many young women who can't go through the day without their cellphone next to them if it rings or incase someone post about them, and they don't have a chance to respond. We are so afraid of what's going to happen on social media, and I think when we're living in fear instead of living with a love of who you are. Standing up to trust your desires, your tastes, things you want to do.
Instead, you get beyond the need to have everyone love you; you do not measure your success by how many likes you get, how many followers you get now that you're an influencer and that kind of thing. You're just you. A lot of times, it's challenging. You have to try on some items. You can try in all kinds of different ways in the world to see which one fits you, but the main thing I think is, to tell the truth of what you feel, what you want, your hopes, your desires, your fears. We're so afraid that people would see us being vulnerable.
Being vulnerable is what attracts people to you, so follow your heart and be who you are. You're a divine being with given talents, don't compare yourself to anybody. Comparison is a Fasttrack to misery, and I know in social media now is nothing but comparison all day long, but you don't have to participate in it, and you don't have to be run by it. You can choose to be your person. You take a social media break, if you will.
Just know that who you are, as an individual, may not be known until later in life. I know many young people who don't get who they are until they leave home. Perhaps going into the military, getting a job, or going to college, could shed some light on whom you will become. I didn't find out who I was and what I love until I was probably 20 years old and so give yourself a break.
If you are a young adult and already in your twenties, remember you can find a job that will fulfill you. You can find something to do that you love, and if you're an entrepreneur, which I know a lot of you reading this are, I will encourage you to trust that desire to explore bringing something into the world and never give up on your dream. Respond to feedback, prove the dream, establish your product's quality, the quality of your service, and always trust that you're being guided by something magnificent.
Being in the public eye is not without its consequences; how difficult is it to maintain excellent relationships (those with girlfriends/boyfriends, childhood friends, family, and significant others)? How do you handle that?
I would say, schedule it. That's the main thing I talked about and mentioned earlier —scheduling time for our family. We are talking about balancing life. When we were raising our kids, Friday night was family night; Saturday night, they could go out on a date with other people, which would be the date night with my wife. Wednesday night, we always have dinner together even though most kids were on the run playing different sports, projects, and things, but we have a lot of family rituals built-in through our family.
The idea of having a rhythm of getting together and connecting is important. We used to do a thing called a heart talk. We used a heart-shaped object to pass around and then picked a theme to talk about at dinner that night. Everyone would get a turn, and if you are holding the heart, nobody could interrupt you. You talked about how you feel about that topic. Maybe what's your biggest fear? What happened this week that you wish you hadn't? What are you wanting but not getting? How do you feel as a parent? Whatever. That was very important, and we still do that sometimes when we get together. Build-in that time is essential.

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