Page 18 - September 2021 Issue
P. 18

Dealing With Parenting Problems After Divorce
Working with your child’s other parent to co-parent your kids is the most helpful thing you can do for them. After divorce, dealing with parenting problems can sometimes look complex, especially if you’re dealing with a problem ex who cannot move on. However, there are ways that you can guarantee that you are giving the best you can to help co-parenting and put your child in a loving and secure environment.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
The kind of communication you need with your co-parent is more like a transaction than a family. However, it will help make things more pleasant and easier if you set a business-like tone for your relationship with your ex. Stay calm, talk casually, and don’t assign emotions to someone else. If it’s difficult to speak, set up a family calendar online that each has access to. Then everyone can enter necessary information and dates instantly.
Don’t Be Negative About Your Ex.
Never act negatively about your ex in the presence of the kids. Yes, it would help if you had someone to talk to but leave it in counseling or with your best friend. Never, ever let your children hear you say bad things about their other parents. They will either defend them, or they’ll protect you, and both are damaging.
Don’t Be Negative Around Your Ex.
When it comes to having to be around your ex, that can be challenging and emotional. Imagine you’re managing customer service at your favorite store, and don’t act unhappy or negative around your ex while the kids are there. Be kind, courteous, and even happy to help make everyone satisfied. Also, if they misbehave, remember you can only manage yourself.
Make It Easy for Both Parents to Be Involved
Don’t make it difficult for the other parent to be involved. It’s one thing if you’re dealing with an abuser, but if you’re not, and they’re 15 minutes late for pickup, don’t make it an issue. Be flexible and put the kids first. Even if they don’t do things the way you want them to, it’s not your place to tell them what’s important about their parenting.

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